In many workplaces today, employees aren’t just paid for their skills or output, they’re also expected to manage their emotions. Smile through frustration, stay calm with clients, absorb tension from colleagues, and remain endlessly “positive.” This invisible expectation is known as emotional labour, and while it keeps workplaces pleasant on the surface, it often comes at a personal cost.
What Emotional Labour Really Means
Coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in the 1980s, emotional labour refers to the effort of managing one’s feelings to fulfil the emotional demands of a job. For customer-facing roles, it might mean staying cheerful with difficult clients. In leadership positions, it could mean remaining composed under constant pressure. The catch? This type of labour often goes unnoticed and unrewarded yet it’s emotionally exhausting.
In recruitment and HR, we see it everywhere. People aren’t only hired for what they can do but also for how well they can handle. The problem is that this emotional performance is often expected without boundaries or recognition.
The Unequal Burden
Emotional labour isn’t distributed evenly. Women, in particular, are more likely to be expected to provide emotional stability to mediate, soothe, support, and keep the peace. In service industries, workers are frequently told to “just smile” or “stay friendly,” even when dealing with rudeness or stress.
These expectations create a silent inequality: while some employees are free to express frustration or assertiveness, others are penalised for showing anything less than warmth. It’s professionalism at a cost, a kind of performance that can leave workers drained and undervalued.
Why It Matters
When emotional labour becomes a constant requirement, it leads to burnout, resentment, and high turnover. Employees who must constantly regulate their emotions for others’ comfort are less likely to feel psychologically safe. Over time, that affects not just wellbeing but productivity and retention.
For businesses, ignoring emotional labour is risky. A workplace that demands endless composure without acknowledging the strain risks losing its most empathetic and adaptable people ironically, the very ones keeping the culture afloat.
Rethinking “Professionalism”
Maybe professionalism shouldn’t mean emotional suppression. Instead of expecting workers to hide frustration or fatigue, organisations could focus on creating spaces where authenticity is safe. That doesn’t mean letting tempers run wild; it means allowing humanity to exist at work.
Leaders can start by recognising emotional effort as real work. Praise and reward empathy, not just efficiency. Encourage honest conversations about boundaries and burnout. When people feel free to express emotion appropriately, they’re not only healthier, they’re also more engaged and loyal.
The Bottom Line
Emotional labour keeps workplaces running smoothly, but it shouldn’t be invisible. Recognising it, sharing it more equally, and setting realistic expectations is part of building a fair and sustainable work culture. Because caring too much shouldn’t come at the cost of your own wellbeing.